A couple weeks ago, I got angry over silly little things. I found myself projecting this anger at Sue. My anger was so great, that I wanted to scream. I realized that at the same time, I wanted to cry. This puzzled me, so I went inside to ask God why I was so angry and wanting to cry, all at the same time. God told me that I was angry because I was having to let go of control and having to trust. I was having to trust both Sue and God, and I was afraid. I was used to either being in control or, at least, feeling like I had some control over my life.
All the things that I had previously been able to count on, in society, such as freedom, personal rights, etc. have been severely eroded, if not totally lost, as a result of the reaction to covid 19. I have found myself struggling with this and feeling that I have no control over my life anymore. God helped me to realize that I was afraid. I was scared to let go and trust. I was afraid that God won’t protect me, or my loved ones from harm. So I again asked God about this. God said that any control, that I thought I had previously, was only an illusion. An illusion that I had created to make me feel better.
I was reminded of my experience, feeling the immensity of God’s love, during my near death experience years ago. God then asked me “So what if something happens to Sue or you?” Once again, God reminded me that we are immortal souls and that when we are done with these lives (bodies) we return to that incredible love. God went on to say that being in intimate relationship provides the opportunity for a sharing of life experiences and feelings at a level not possible in other relationships. However, to achieve that requires being vulnerable, not being in control. The more we can trust our partner and drop our shields of defense, the richer our relationship can become.
God congratulated me for finding a partner who understands this. Sue supports me in reaching that richness together, through combined vulnerability. I was told that it is time to surrender to both Sue, in the relationship, and to God in everything else. God said the truth is that only God and God’s love are real and it is time to surrender to God and feel God’s love. It is time to allow God’s love to fill me completely, as only God’s love heals all and only God’s love can bring me what I truly desire. Only God’s love can bring the peace and comfort that the soul desires.
God concluded with the following statements: “I MUST LET GO AND LET GOD AND I MUST TRUST! I MUST SURRENDER TO GOD AND ONLY TOTAL SURRENDER WILL DO! I MUST TRUST!
John
